Manic May

As I become aware of my yearly energetic cycle, I notice that certain months, particularly May and August, are high energy and others (namely November and February) are low points. I spun a little bit out of control this May when I tried to incorporate all the warm weather activities I love while still maintaining an ambitious music journalism hobby. In this entry I analyze my own behavior patterns, or samskara, from the perspective of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. … Read More Manic May

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter: Five Realizations About Loneliness

This is not at all what I intended to write when I sat down. I had the idea to write something lighthearted about how I fill my time with cooking, music, reading, and writing, and that I’m completely happy living alone and without TV or internet. Instead, you get heavy revelations about loneliness and attachment. I’m going to try to relate a few realizations I had about my preoccupation with (especially male) attention in the most open and honest way I can, but this shit is hard to talk about.… Read More The Heart is a Lonely Hunter: Five Realizations About Loneliness

How a Skirmish With Authority Revealed My Ego-Constructed Victim Identity

I have taken shelter in the identity of “victim,” because in that corner of my psyche, I don’t have to take responsibility for my own contribution to my pain. In this confessional essay, I reflect on two situations in which I assumed the role of victim to protect my ego: being cited for moving traffic violations and the dissolution of romantic relationships.… Read More How a Skirmish With Authority Revealed My Ego-Constructed Victim Identity

Putting My Cynical Self in Hibernation

I suffer from seasonal affective disorder, and the variety of depression that seems to be settling down on me this year is characterized by rage, hopelessness, frustration, and cynicism. I really don’t want to write from this place, at least not publicly, so I’m putting this blog on hiatus until these aggressive feelings begin to subside. I wish you all a safe, happy, and productive new year. … Read More Putting My Cynical Self in Hibernation

The Nine of Swords: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Divination is a way to peer inside the subconscious and uncover thoughts, ideas, desires, and needs there that have been buried for one reason or another. On the Winter Solstice last year, I laid out a five card spread to mark the death of a year and forecast my forthcoming solar year. In this post, I explore in retrospect how the Nine of Swords related to my attitude toward change in 2017. … Read More The Nine of Swords: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do