I’ve never re-blogged anything before, but this work got “stuck in my head,” so to speak. When I’m experiencing confusion, isolation, or darkness on my journey, this is an article I return to and re-read. It soothes my wild heart, reminds me that I’m not alone, confirms my journey is not singular, and encourages me to stay the course. I hope you enjoy.
My approach to eating has changed drastically since I began experimenting with my diet and observing the effect the food I eat has on my mental and physical well being. I learned to cook “slow” while I researched the SCD and GAPS diets. I discovered that long-simmered meat and vegetables are easiest to digest, fermented vegetables and dairy are easy to prepare and boost microbiome health substantially, and that it is actually very easy to take fresh ingredients from the refrigerator, add heat and fat, and have a simple meal as a result with minimal planning. These are only the broad strokes. and I’d like to share about ten of the most interesting things I learned with you. They’re not all strictly food-related, and some may even surprise you.
As I become aware of my yearly energetic cycle, I notice that certain months, particularly May and August, are high energy and others (namely November and February) are low points. I spun a little bit out of control this May when I tried to incorporate all the warm weather activities I love while still maintaining an ambitious music journalism hobby. In this entry I analyze my own behavior patterns, or samskara, from the perspective of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras.
During the foregoing five-week hiatus, I’ve been focusing on music journalism and my health. The SCD and GAPS diets have improved my well-being immensely, but I’ve been spending a lot of time in the kitchen. The good news is: I love to cook.
This is not at all what I intended to write when I sat down. I had the idea to write something lighthearted about how I fill my time with cooking, music, reading, and writing, and that I’m completely happy living alone and without TV or internet. Instead, you get heavy revelations about loneliness and attachment. I’m going to try to relate a few realizations I had about my preoccupation with (especially male) attention in the most open and honest way I can, but this shit is hard to talk about.
I have taken shelter in the identity of “victim,” because in that corner of my psyche, I don’t have to take responsibility for my own contribution to my pain. In this confessional essay, I reflect on two situations in which I assumed the role of victim to protect my ego: being cited for moving traffic violations and the dissolution of romantic relationships.
My retreat from this blog lasted 20 days. I decided to come out of hiding for two reasons. Firstly, my depression this winter seems to be pretty mild, and secondly, I greatly missed writing from the personal, vulnerable space I’ve created for myself on this blog.